On Love

"[Love is] a human emotion." "No. It is a word. What matters is the connection the word implies." ^‡

A wise friend once told me that love is not an emotion, but a decision that one makes about one's relationship with another individual. I would perhaps expand upon this definition: love is an ethic which guides one's actions with regard to other individuals.

This is not to say that there is not an emotion which occurs frequently in conjunction with this guiding ethic and which may be referred to as "love;" in truth, the emotion makes it easier to act ethically towards the individual upon whom one feels such an emotion. However, the presence of this emotion, which is a purely chemical phenomenon comprised primarily of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, in destructive relationships, and the ability to feel this emotion towards inanimate objects with which it is impossible to enter into relationship (such as depicted in scientific studies that claim it is possible to fall "in love" with chocolate; the same chemical reaction is produced by THC, the psychoactive component of marijuana) demonstrates that the emotion does not necessarily correspond to the virtuous qualities with which we associate the word "love."

Another good friend of mine argues that love is something which must be recognized by the person^† or individual^† that is loved; love requires the possibility, if not the actuality, of reciprocation. From a biological standpoint, I find this definition difficult to work with because it excludes sentient individuals who are biologically recognized as incapable of experiencing love. My primary example of such an individual is a child born with a brain stem (which is necessary for life) but without a cerebrum or cerebellum (which is necessary for higher-level functioning such as emotion, morality or ethic). Biologically speaking, the child is incapable of reciprocating love in any way, but is capable of being loved.

So what does this mean in terms of the Christian notion of love?

There is a popular Bible passage oft-quoted at weddings which defines the qualities of love. Interestingly, this passage (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) sets forth a description of love which is rarely fulfilled completely by human persons. As a whole, humanity is guilty of failing to love fully in the way that this text describes.

I remember reading once a meme which took 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and replaced each instance of the word "love" with the name of God, resulting in a complete picture of God's eternal and unchanging love.

In the Christian tradition, God sets the ethic with which we are supposed to live, yet it is in our human nature to fail. We are impatient; we are unkind; we are envious, boastful, arrogant, rude. We insist on our own way (the one and only way); we are irritable and resentful.

In some ways, we expect these failures. We prepare ourselves for the failure of others to live fully into God's example of love. What would the world look like if we loved as God loves?

† I use the word "person" here to indicate a specific member of the species Homo sapiens, whereas I include members of other species under the nomenclature "individual;" as a panentheist, I recognize sapience, sentience, and emotion across species.

‡ The focusing quote of this essay comes from Matrix: Revolutions. I worried that citing the source at the beginning of this post would undermine the seriousness with which I approach the subject. I find in my own moral philosophy that wisdom and revelation can come from the most unlikely sources, though I understand that some may not share my philosophy. Thusly, I wished to approach this subject without the burden of revealing my source as a third-rate sci-fi flick.